A great litmus test for me as well as a daily driving question is to ask myself ‘who does my (insert wife, child, significant other) need me to be right now?’ In coaching, our saying is that ‘if it’s all about YOU than you’re not a coach’, and the same principle applies in our family life!

I am far from perfect on these things too my friend. This article was a bit of a soul searching exercise for me to and one I need to read and re-read myself.

Keep trying to be all you can be.

WG

I regularily do 2-3 of the points that you mention when i am away on the road with a sporting team, but i am guilty of not listening and asking how my wife is going first when, or pay enough attention when she wants to talk about the kids or answer home related questions or issues.

It’s good to hear it from another perspective, keep up the great posts…

Trav

Lots of coaches will say that their “family” is the most important thing in their life.
A quick visit to their diaries will show that while they might say that, their behaviours do not support it.
I often ask coaches to add up all the time they have spent in the past week working with other people’s children in training and competition, then add up all the time they spent with their own kids.
Worst one I have seen is 26 hours with other people’s kids: less than 10 minutes with their own children.
And this was while the coach was living at home – add to that touring, “away” competitions…..and the coach in this example still maintained that his family were the absolute number one priority in his life.

In the end, each person has to decide what’s important to them then live to those priorities.

Thanks,

WG

I used to think that having children got in the way of work\ training. Now I think it is essential to get a balance in life.

I think that’s a great idea for an article.

Because our lives are usually “the story of me” and we are so excited about telling our partners what we are doing, I think we rarely really engage them in their own terms.

So the trick is allowing them to define your business from their own vantage point and engage with it their way.

Or if you like, the way NOT to do it is to try and educate them about your business and force them to get involved in the same you would do it with a trainee or new employee.

Your career is like having your first baby. You are so excited and enthusiastic, that you can’t believe everyone isn’t feeling the same way you are.
To you – the “baby” is what gives you life and passion and enjoyment. To everyone else – it is just a job.

Also, I believe the more you want it to happen, the less likely it is to happen. Provide some opportunities for your partner to get involved but allow them the space and time to engage in your industry by their own rules.

Thanks – really enjoyed your comment,

WG

Great article and applicable to all passionate professionals who travel for work, regardless of industry. I would love to see a follow up article exploring the appropriate ways to engage your partner in the details of professional life.

Kind regards,

Lena

We all love what we do but forget why we are doing it sometimes.

Most people are looking for:

Something to be passionate about doing;
Living where they enjoy living;
Living with people they love to be with.

I hope this article saves a few marriages and relationships.

WG

Brian Stephens

You make a lot of sense with this. Although I do not work at the very top, I still have to go away from home from time to time. Every time I go away I would like to take my wife with me but it is not always posible. When I am away from home, I call my wife regularly (and sometimes irregularly!!!) and I always ask her how her day has been and my day comes second. I am very lucky to have the wife I have and she is the most important thing in my world. She is also involved in swimming and does want to hear how our swimmers have performed but she always comes first and I can’t wait to get back to her, she makes it all worth while.

Keep up the good work.

Best regards

Brian