Comments on: Hello Tennis Parents – balancing love and 40-love

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 19:05:27 +0000

David,
Shoot me an email as I have some information that may be of help for ya!

all the best,
Jeremy

By: David

David — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 07:00:26 +0000

Hi Jeremy
Most students are between the ages of 14 – 22. I mainly work with top amateurs players and touring professionals. The level 1 KLPGA touring pros are not in my full time program but the amateurs and 2nd & 3rd level KLPGA players are. Couple of the touring pros have their father on the bag as the caddie which is also very common on the KLPGA tour.

Cheers

David

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 02:29:23 +0000

David,
What age group are you currently working with and at what level in Korea?

This information will help to shape some possible further ideas for you!

all the best,
Jeremy

PS. You are right about Wayne’s material!

By: David Louys-Moroney

David Louys-Moroney — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 13:56:50 +0000

Hi Wayne and Jeremy
Thanks for your fedback to my post.
In regard to the tipping point to where it becomes destructive, I am struggling to determine. What I would believe is that point does not seem to exsist with the korean girls. I believe it is more of a culture thing than anything else. Most players do not have the courage to stand up to their fathers, so they just put up and shut up.

I totally believe the players could play better with a healthy imbalance but the Korean culture is pretty much a unhealthy imbalance.
The sad point, is that the best results are coming from the students who’s parents we would determine are the most destructive.

The answer to the parenting problem is of course education. The coach sitting down with the parent and discussing the different training possibilities to achieving optimum results. I am trying to blend the Korean culture with the High Performance culture to achieve these results.

Thanks to Waynes articles I have a lot more ideas on how to achieve this.

Cheers

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 03:23:52 +0000

David,
Interesting response to Wayne’s post, and I too get where you are coming from. I have actually had the opportunity to work with one of these players you are referring to.

If the primary Value Driver is results based performance, than I think there is merrit to your point. HOWEVER, peel away performance results, and like you said, you will quickly see unhappy women with extremely dysfunctional relationships with their fathers. There is a difference between unhealthy imbalance and healthy imbalance. Sports careers don’t last near as long as quality family relationships!

By: Wayne Goldsmith

Wayne Goldsmith — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 00:52:45 +0000

Thanks for the comment David.

Having worked a lot with professional sports in the past five years I understand what you are saying.

I am all for the supportive parent wanting to help their son or daughter be all they can be. The point of the article is about being aware of the tipping point where supportive becomes over-zealous and destructive.

This article was inspired by a tennis parent I met who videoed their child at practice, then sat and re-played the training video to the child each evening over dinner. They would then write notes about where the child needed to improve, list the mistakes the child made and they even kept a daily skill error count on the door of their refrigerator.

The kid was 8.

I am all for kids, coaches and parents becoming totally committed to achievement and excellence, but where is the line???

Thanks for the great feedback.

By: Wayne Goldsmith

Wayne Goldsmith — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 00:40:42 +0000

Thanks Jeremy.

Parents are critical in the overall performance “puzzle”.

Athletes need training to be the best they can be.

So do coaches.

Likewise sports scientists, physical therapists and strength and conditioning staff.

Why not sporting parents?

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 21:58:28 +0000

Wayne,
FANTASTIC post my friend! Ahhh the big dreams of sports parents often go astray!

By: David Louys-Moroney

David Louys-Moroney — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 11:54:47 +0000

Dear Wayne
2 years ago I would have totally agreed with all of the comments about the poor tennis parents. But after my last couple years of experience I have had to change my opinion. I come from a different sport being golf, but I think this all relates to sport parents no matter what the sport. If you are not familiar with the golf scene, womens golf is being dominated by Korean women. I have been lucky enough to have first hand experience as I am currently coaching in Korea. The Korean parents would have to be the most demanding sports parents I have ever encountered. Out of the 10 poor points you made in this article I would say that they would have to answer yes to 9/10. For the positive parenting skills: definitely less than 3. Most parents that have this dream of their child making a profession from the game will leave their jobs and commit totally to achieving THEIR (the parents) goal. This means being present during all training, giving advice, which most of the time contradicts the coach’s advice. Reprimanding the child when they hit poor shots and pretty much being by their side 24/7. The main reason for this is because one parent did this and produced a world number one. So the other parents learn from this and try to take it a step further which just gets more and more out of control. But is it out of control as they are producing the best results and the best players in the world. Out of the top 10 players in the world, 5 of them have Korean parents.

I would like to believe what you have said is true, but in reality the results show otherwise. I have always believed in balance but if you want to be the best the sacrifices the athlete needs to make means there can be no balance. Of course there are the exceptions. Currently in Korea most are unhappy out of balance athletes but they are getting the best results of anyone else in the world.

By: Rick Daley

Rick Daley — Tue, 19 May 2009 15:57:47 +0000

What a great looking tennis website and good information.
Thank you